ESPN.com: Page3 |
For Kobe, nothing says "I'm sorry" like expensive jewelry. |
10. "Unlike the first three games, we didn't leave early to beat the traffic."
9. "We put flu virus in Jeter's Gatorade."
8. "Let's just say Pete Rose made some phone calls for us."
7. "We asked Pokey Reese to be a little less Pokey."
6. "It's not like we haven't won a big game before -- it's just been 86 years."
5. "Honestly, I think we were tired of hearing about the Patriots."
4. "The messages of encouragement Martha sent on prison napkins."
3. "We pretended the baseball was Letterman's head."
2. "What'd you expect -- we have a guy who looks like Jesus!"
1. "We got Babe Ruth's ghost a hooker and now everything's cool." (Oct. 21)
Eddy Curry committed the dirtiest of fouls in the NBA. |
Red Sox fans are still waiting for the Yankees to ruin the fun. |
"A court in Switzerland ruled yesterday that U.S. gymnast Paul Hamm gets to keep his gold medal even though his score was not as high as a South Korean gymnast in Athens. (Shows clip, including Hamm speaking.) I think the helium industry has found its spokesman. Hamm made a tearful case that he deserved the gold, and besides a silver medal does not match his outfits. ... In the end Hamm will be remembered as the man who won the medal thanks to an unbeatable combination of strength, determination and math errors. Many feel that Hamm is hanging onto the medal for the lucrative endorsement deals, and already he seems to be cashing in (shows a Wheaties-style box with the name 'Whiny Bitches)." (Oct. 22)
"The World Series is set, the Boston Red Sox are going to play the St. Louis Cardinals, who knocked off Houston last night, 5-2. Red Sox fans woke up thinking, 'what is this strange sensation?' It is called joy. When reached for comment, George Steinbrenner said, 'There must be some kind of mistake, I specifically purchased a championship here.' ... The trips marks a huge change for Boston as normally when a cardinal comes to town, it's to deal with somebody who has been molested. ... The Yankees were hoping to be saved by the ghost of Babe Ruth. Unfortunately, it turns out that Ruth's ghost was passed out at a ghost whorehouse." (Oct. 22)