ESPN.com: Page3 |
Pedro Martinez wins the MVP award in Jimmy Kimmel's book. |
-- Vitamin C, penicillin and the polio vaccine hadn't been discovered.
-- U.S. population -- 106 million; it's 281 million now.
-- Cell phones ran on kerosene.
-- The average price of a two bedroom house was a nickel, and ...
-- There was no such thing as trees. (Kimmel)
Thanks to Dave Roberts' feet, his hands get to hold the trophy. |
Corddry (grinning): "What's up, Jon? How ya doin'?"
Stewart: "... Uhh, I'm doing well, Rob. Now bring us up to speed. We're hearing all sorts of reports out of the Palestinian areas, what is Yasser Arafat's condition as of now?" Corddry: "Jon, the situation here is very bad! Yasser Arafat is gravely ill and in the advanced stages of a deadly disease! ... Jon." Stewart: "... Uhhh ... all right, Rob. Thanks for the update. You know, uh ... you seem to be pretty up. Is everyone there in such good spirits? Corddry: "Nuhhuhoooo! Not at all, Jon! The lamentations, the rending of the garments, there's no denying it, Jon. The Palestinian people don't want their leader going, going, gone! Say goodbye!"
Stewart: "Rob, I'm gonna take a wild guess and say you caught the Red Sox game on satellite last night."
Corddry: "Whooooo! (as he puts on a Red Sox cap.) ... Yeahhhhhh! ... Whooo!"
Stewart: "Now, Rob, I mean, uh, congratulations on the game. I know you're a huge Red Sox fan, but the situation there in the Middle East is still very dire. I think you should be acting somewhat more appropriately."
Being in the middle of the pile-on is a scary situation in itself. |
Stewart: "Rob, thank you for your report. Rob, keep us posted on the happenings there."
Corddry: "Sure, Jon. And on a more serious note, people always said there would be peace in the Middle East before the Sox win a World Series. And i just have to say, 'They were wrong!' Yeah, this place is a disaster! Man and it's only getting worse! In your face, Middle East! (Bringing his palm in front of his face.)
"Let's go, Red Sox! (Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap.) Whooooo!"
Stewart: "Thank you, Rob."
October 27
Red Sox fans are still waiting for the Yankees to ruin the fun. |
10. "Unlike the first three games, we didn't leave early to beat the traffic."
9. "We put flu virus in Jeter's Gatorade."
8. "Let's just say Pete Rose made some phone calls for us."
7. "We asked Pokey Reese to be a little less Pokey."
There's no greater feeling than watching your team celebrate at Yankee Stadium. |
5. "Honestly, I think we were tired of hearing about the Patriots."
4. "The messages of encouragement Martha sent on prison napkins."
3. "We pretended the baseball was Letterman's head."
2. "What'd you expect -- we have a guy who looks like Jesus!"
1. "We got Babe Ruth's ghost a hooker and now everything's cool." (Letterman)
Pedro Martinez is practicing an end-of-the-world drill. |