Monday, March 7, 2005
Contestants face real-time action
By Dan Shanoff Special to Page 3
Dee Brown gave some nice player analysis but he talks too fast.
It's Week 3 of a new season of ESPN's "Dream Job." This season, six ex-NBA players of varying degrees of obscurity, compete for a spot as an on-air NBA analyst.
The contestants: Dee Brown, J.R. Reid, Gerald Wilkins, Matt Bullard, Darryl Dawkins and sixth-man walk-on Dennis Scott.
Judges: Woody Paige, Kit Hoover, Stephen A. Smith (SAS) and My Man, Al Jaffe. I'm merely the unofficial "couch judge" for Page 3.
In Week 2, Gerald Wilkins was voted out by all four judges and the fans, voting online.
And now, the morning-after analysis, with each contestants' highs (and lows. Oh, the lows!)
The Fifth Quarter
In what was the most interesting test of the show's three seasons, the five contestants faced some real-time action. On a single panel, the contestants were given five questions by Stuart Scott about the Heat-Cavs game that had just ended.
Judge for yourselves:
Question (to Bullard):What's the problem with the Cavs? Bullard: Playing uninspired basketball. Scott: LeBron James doesn't know how to win yet. Dawkins: Need another scorer, another guy to play defense. Z can't guard a casket. Reid: Ilgauskas disappeared when Shaq was in there.
(Dee Brown? Shut out!)
Question (to Brown):Why didn't Cavs take advantage when Shaq got into foul trouble? Brown: [Miami's] role players finally stepped up. Bullard: Shaq caught fire in the second quarter. Scott: Heat players finally started making shots. Reid: Thought this game would mean a lot more to Cleveland. Dawkins: (Frankly, I couldn't understand him.)
Question (to Dawkins):What kind of help does LeBron need to get to the next level? Dawkins: Definitely needs another scorer. He needs a center who's not afraid of anybody. Scott: (Too much talking over him to understand.) Reid: Two spot, first thing. Bullard: Upgrade talent on the bench.
(Dee Brown: Shut out again!)
Question (to Reid):Do the Cavs have a realistic chance of winning the Central Division? Reid: Right now, I don't think so. Have dropped four in a row (Me: Um, no. Six in a row!) Brown: No, it's Detroit. Third-best record after Jan. 1. Dawkins: Get rid of Diop. Question (to Scott):Are the Heat the best team in the East? Scott:I would say no. Detroit's the best team in the East. Brown: Yes. Best record. Just got Alonzo. Reid: Something unintelligible.
Judges Say: Woody: At times you sounded like dogs playing poker. Darryl came with strong opinions. Matt, you played soft. Kit: Matt, I would like to hear more from you. Darryl, you were the best. SAS: Matt, after the first question, I didn't even notice you were up there. You said nothing, bottom line. Dennis, I thought you were the best. Al: I thought Dee was the best. Good arguments about why Miami was the best in the East. I thought Matt was
the weakest. Not enough specifics. Me: Not looking good for Bullard. He got steamrolled.
The Double-Dribble (with SportsCenter anchor Dana Jacobson)
Contestants break down two games with telestration and answering a question about the game. Judged on knowledge, clarity, improvisation and teamwork.
First up: J.R. Reid Good: Nice stats
Bad: Lauded Steve Nash as pass-first PG, only to have highlight show Nash throwing up a 3.
Ugly: Telestrator looked more like Morse code -- too many hard-to-understand dots and dashes.
Judges: "Exceptional start" (Woody); "Good chemistry" (Kit); "Screwed up Nash analysis" (SAS); "Who shot JR...full of information?" (Al, in the Line of the Night!)
Couch Judge: Not great; not bad. With this competition, that's a plus.
Next up: Dennis Scott Good: Used "Freeze it!" in telestrating.
Bad: Said Mavs' "offense will try to be their defense." Hunh?
Ugly: Asked which team in LA is better, he wouldn't (or couldn't) answer.
Judges: "Have more fun out there" (Kit); "You need to be more assertive" (SAS); "Give us an opinion!" (Al); "Came out tighter than Joan Rivers' face" (Woody)
Couch Judge: Rightfully crushed for not having an opinion. Even I have an opinion sometimes.
Dawkins may be the most likeable personality, but he needs to nail his delivery.
Next up: Darryl Dawkins Good: Called out players in telestrator spot shadow as "three stooges."
Bad: Didn't tell us who the players were!
Ugly: I need Dawkins subtitles. He mumbles his way through the highlight, and his scratchy bass-heavy voice doesn't help.
Judges: "Tough call on this one" (SAS); "Got to check my Doppler radar; I don't see Chocolate
Thunder." (Al); "Excellent job" (Woody); "Took a stance" (Kit)
Couch Judge: He's still the most likeable personality up there, but he's not nailing the delivery.
Next up: Dee Brown Good: Nice player analysis of Larry Hughes and Bobby Sura.
Bad: Stumbled through the highlights and telestrating.
Ugly: He talks so fast, it begins to sound like gibberish.
Judges: "Slow down!" (Al); "Started slow and got good at the end" (Woody); "Just slow it down. Slow it down." (Kit); "Sound more assertive; stop sounding like you're meeting a beautiful woman" (SAS)
Couch Judge: He needs to practice, practice, practice. His analysis is decent; he continues to freak out on camera.
Last up: Matt Bullard Good: Connected personally with highlight of Baron Davis.
Bad: But does he sound like he's TOO close to Baron?
Ugly: Still totally blah. Doesn't get me excited.
Judges: "Try to be more consistent." (Woody); "Thought you nailed it up there" (Kit); "Clearly playing favorites" (SAS); "This was like a Tale of Two Bullards" (Al)
Couch Judge: If he could ever spice himself up, he'd walk away with this contest. Not sure if he has that in him, though.
Final Judgment:
Woody: Cuts Dee Brown.
Kit: Cuts Dennis Scott.
SAS: Cuts Darryl Dawkins.
Al: Cuts Dennis Scott. And it's down to the fan vote! That's awesome!
Fans cut: Darryl Dawkins, agreeing with Stephen A. Smith and sending home a strong pre-season favorite to take it all. Shocker!
Remaining Ranking:
1. J.R. Reid
2. Dennis Scott
3. Matt Bullard
4. Dee Brown
Dan Shanoff is a columnist for Page 2. Every weekday morning, he writes the Daily Quickie for Page
2 and hosts the Morning Quickie on SportsNation (9-10 a.m. ET). This is his third season reviewing ESPN's "Dream Job."
