Wednesday, October 26, 2005 Updated: October 28, 2:47 PM ET
Zorro, a family man
Dhani Jones Special to Page 3
Dhani Jones is a Renaissance man. Off the field, the Philadelphia Eagles linebacker looks more like an artist and intellect than an athlete. His hobbies include his poetry, music, studying Islam, painting and photography. People magazine rated the pro as one of this year's sexiest bachelors.
And best of all, he's Page 3's resident movie critic, who will review what's currently out on the silver screen.
Is the aged Zorro losing his spunk?
DHANI'S WEEK IN REVIEW Coming off the bye week, we came up with a big win against the Chargers. LaDainian Tomlinson is a great runner who excels at finding the seams, but we brought a complete defensive effort and held him to 7 yards.
We received a lot of heat for not getting our running game going. Brian Westbrook is a talented runner and the line blocks well, so it all comes down to the game plan. I'm sure coach Andy Reid will figure things out by Sunday when we travel to Denver to play a tough Broncos team. QB Jake Plummer is adept at making plays for himself and breaking down a defense, so we need to keep on our toes.
But first, I caught the sequel "The Legend of Zorro" with singer, actor and fellow Renaissance man, WR Darnerien McCants. As a talented receiver and cultured man of the arts, Darnerien represents the new breed of the athlete, capable of breaking down traditional athlete stereotypes.
RATINGS SYSTEM "Touchdown": As good as it gets.
"Field goal": Comes away with points.
"First Down": Moves the chains.
"Sacked": Lost yards. Not good.
"Fumble": Doesn't get any worse.
Ideal date: (1) Girlfriend (2) Cheerleader (3) Teammate (4) The kids (5) Coach
STAT SHEET Movie: "THE LEGEND OF ZORRO" (in theaters Friday, Oct. 28)
Studio: Columbia Pictures
Director: Martin Campbell
Stars: Antonio Banderas, Catherine Zeta-Jones
Ideal date: The little ones. This time around, Zorro's a family man.
THE GAME PLAN While we wait for the next great director or writer to graduate from film school, we can be sure of one thing: Tinseltown is on its final breath and a masked swordsman just sucked up the last of the oxygen. There are no comic books left, no stones unturned, no original ideas to mimic. Hopefully, help is coming . . . just as soon as they finish their midterms.
The year is 1850 and California is up for grabs as it struggles to join the Union as its 31st state. Meanwhile, Zorro's family isn't in great shape either. His wife Elena (an always sexy Zeta-Jones) and son Joaquin (Adrian Alonso) want Zorro (Banderas) to choose between his role as a family man and his duty as superhero.
And if you're thinking "The Incredibles: Part Dos," you're not off mark. Though Zorro is now a legend, he's getting up there in age, so his miraculous ability to cartwheel off rooftops and slap people silly with his hat may seem a bit far-fetched. Luckily, his family is there to pick up the slack. Together, they join forces to battle the greedy count Armand (Rufus Sewell), who has other plans for the Golden State. Apparently, a family that fights together stays together.
Despite the wholesome family theme, my teammate Darnerien found plenty to like. He responds to fun films that take him away from reality and this film in particular had him laughing the entire way through.
It's not all about sports for Eagles LB Dhani Jones.
THE ROSTER Franchise Player: Though just like his character, he's getting up there in age, the always-suave Banderas shows us that he can still command the screen, charm the audience and get the girl. What's not to like?
Player in a Contract Year: Darnerien and I agree that Adrian Alonso was surprisingly effective as Zorro's bold son, Joaquin. In fact, Lil' Zorro's accent is more convincing than his dad's. "Son of Zorro," anyone?
Benched: The fight choreographer should grab some pine for his ballet-like action sequences. The Superhero of the West should be stout, forceful, and true -- not whimsical and unsure. And, like all Westerns, Zorro predictably ends with an inevitable duel aboard a train bound for dynamite-riddled tracks.
GAME BALL
My game ball goes to Zorro's horse. Whether he's smoking a pipe or getting drunk with Banderas, this animal's unique personality sets him apart from the film's one-dimensional human characters. Darnerien gives his Game Ball to Banderas, with extra kudos for style; "It doesn't matter how old Zorro is, he might be the best dressed superhero around," he said.
THE DE-CLEATER
Following Zorro's heroic efforts, President Abraham Lincoln makes a surprise cameo appearance to give a poignant statement about freedom. Needless to say, Lincoln's presence really caught us off guard. Seeing the Great Emancipator go toe-to-toe with Zorro can do that to an audience.
"Touchdown": As good as it gets.
"Field goal": Comes away with points.
"First Down": Moves the chains.
"Sacked": Lost yards. Not good.
"Fumble": Doesn't get any worse.
