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Tuesday, August 6
 
Zook's 'Coachspeak' requires careful translation

By Bill Curry
Special to ESPN.com

My friend, sportswriter Bob Gilbert, says that Florida coach Ron Zook speaks in rapid-fire bursts, like a Gatling gun. When Zook fired away at the recent SEC Media Days, his ammunition of choice was a language very few understand. I call it "Coachspeak" -- and I understand it only because I spent so many years listening to it, spouting it and translating it for viewers and readers.

Ron Zook
Herewith, some Zook "Coachspeak" (with translation):

  • "We're excited to get going." -- Translation: "I can't sleep. Visions of Spurrier's ascension, flying visors rampant in the background, stuff like that haunts me."

  • "I don't have to worry about that" (on Rex Grossman's Heisman). -- Translation: "I haven't met Rex's Daddy yet."

  • "It's not a lot of special things that have to be done" (on Grossman's Heisman). -- Translation: "I haven't met Rex's Daddy yet."

  • "I don't feel that way at all" (on being on the hot seat). -- Translation: "We haven't played a game yet."

  • "We're expected to win like all other SEC schools." -- Translation: "We haven't played a game yet."

  • "The one thing at Florida, every three or four years you get a receiver depth problem. We're probably in that now." -- Translation: "We only have six receivers who run 4.4 or better."

    For serious students of the "Coachspeak" lexicon, I add a word of caution: Do not attempt to do your own translation, lest serious errors in interpretation occur. The language evolves from "New Coach" to "Old Coach" derivations. The transition occurs in remarkably short order and requires expert interpretation at every step. Stay logged on to this Web site for further instruction!

    ESPN college football analyst Bill Curry was the head coach at Georgia Tech (1980-86), Alabama (1987-89) and Kentucky (1990-96).






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