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Friday, August 15
 
Football's a family tradition in the SEC

By Bill Curry
Special to ESPN.com

Southeastern Conference football creatures may be crazy but they are never boring, and the games are pretty good, too.

In the south we have family reunions. Nobody seems to know why, but as long as chickens greet the dawn we will gather to gossip and eat in the summer.

A four-legged member of the Georgia football family gets ready to feast on a Gator.
Folks who normally struggle to speak to one another show up and talk a blue streak. And good gracious do they eat! One of our heavyweight players at Alabama gained 12 pounds in one weekend and when I demanded an explanation he simply said, "Coach, we had a family reunion." 'Nuff said.

Every September, no matter what, the extended SEC family gasses up the RV phalanx, hits the road on Thursdays and fills parking lots, campuses and even marinas. These kissin' cousins break out the pennants, hibachi grills, coolers and yes, the candelabra. Doubt me? Get on down to "The Grove" in Oxford, Miss.

Once settled, these southern football experts commence to assess the family prospects between swigs of Southern Comfort and mouthfuls of the dangdest menus you ever saw. I daresay the combined "wisdom" dispensed in one weekend in one parking lot at an SEC football game would qualify for the Guinness Book of World Records for sheer quantity and purity of B.S.

If we could be a fly on the Winnebago, eavesdropping on two Southeastern sages, we might hear something like this:

"Your beloved Crimson Tide has gone and done it now. Dubose, Franchione and Price are too much for even a Shula to fix, especially a young Mike Shula," says the hopeful Auburn nephew.

With a patient smile the crinkled old Crimson-clad uncle responds: "Careful now. Y'all need to think about how history works. This Shula boy is smart. He has Brodie Croyle believing, a bunch of veteran linemen, receivers, and Shaud Williams returning. He has Joe Kines running the defense and the whole Alabama Nation behind him. We'll be better than anybody expects, maybe good enough to screw up all those highfalutin' ratings y'all are getting. Remember, we always fight back to the top ... always."

Shuddering despite the 90 degree heat, the nephew responds, "Yeah, well, what about the fact that we have the best backs and linebackers in the conference?"

The response is calm. "Y'all almost always have the best backs and linebackers in the conference. You just don't win as much as we do, because the Crimson Tide is the Crimson Tide."

"Remember, Bryant didn't start our greatness. Wallace Wade and Frank Thomas got it going back in the 20s and 30s. We are united behind our coach again, and when that happens there's only one team that can whip us and that is Notre Dame. That really doesn't count because they're Yankees."

"The SEC is a weird family, especially this year," the elder statesman continues. "Y'all might win the West because we are ineligible, but that will be about it for Auburn for awhile. LSU will be pretty good at home at night, but they will lose a couple they shouldn't. Saban confesses that they haven't found an identity."

"Down in Oxford they have another Manning and he is great, but they are having a 'Non-Heisman campaign'. What is that? At Starkville the Bulldogs have old Jackie. Nobody ever knows what he's up to. The rest of them in the West will beat each other up but they won't whip either one of us."

The Alabama uncle keeps on talking. "Over in the East it's even wackier. Tennessee folks are wondering if Fulmer can get over that Kelley Washington attitude on the team. That and the whuppin' by Maryland in the Peach Bowl have got them nervous."

"Georgia is distracted by the e-Bay ring fiasco, and scared to death they won't be able to block anybody with their new offensive line. Also, I understand that Vince Dooley and that President Adams are scheduled to go fifteen rounds at the half of the first home game."

"Zook and his Florida, uh, Crocodiles could contend except they'll have a freshman quarterback and a bad kicking game. If Lou and Skip Holtz can agree to disagree I reckon South Carolina will be improved."

"All-in-all, I reckon it should be one of the most wide open races in years," he concludes, "mainly because 'Bama's ineligible for the championship."

Like I say, we have a weird family, but it sure is fun.

ESPN College Football analyst Bill Curry coached for 17 years in the college ranks, and his Gameplans for marquee matchups appear each week during the college football season.





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