CLEARWATER, Fla. -- Room 4, in the Winning Inning Baseball Academy, still looks exactly like Josh Hamilton left it nine years ago.
The mattress he slept on, when he had nowhere else to turn in this world, still sits in a corner on a bare, uncarpeted floor. And the man who gave him that mattress to sleep on now wonders, more than ever, whether his most famous student, protégé and friend has taken the right path in life.
Like so many people who care about Hamilton, Roy Silver says, "I wish I knew more" about the apparent relapse that led Hamilton to MLB's offices in New York this week and about the details of a wrong turn that has left Hamilton's future in baseball more uncertain than ever. But more than anything, Silver wishes this man had simply turned to one of the legions of people who would be there to help him, if he'd only asked.
People such as Roy Silver, for instance.
"I don't believe he utilizes his resources to the extent he needs to so these types of things don't happen," the president and CEO of Winning Inning said by phone from Arizona on Thursday. "Whether he considers me a resource is not for me to say. But I know our relationship is genuine. I'm able to share my feelings. He's always been very receptive to my feelings."
Asked what he meant by not utilizing his resources, Silver said: "Like anybody on this earth, when something is going wrong, reaching out first [to people who can help] is what we should do."
But almost any time Hamilton has lost his struggle to control his demons, he has tended to reach out too late, after the damage has been done, and this appears to be another one of those times.
"I'm not sure how it came to this," Silver said. "That's why I'm saying he doesn't utilize his resources. Or sometimes we avoid our resources because we don't want to hear what we need to hear."
The details remain fuzzy about Hamilton's reported latest, unfortunate descent back into the world of substance abuse. But whatever happened, it has stirred too many memories in the minds of folks such as Roy Silver, folks who have done so much to try to help a man they sincerely love stay pointed in the right direction.
Nine years ago, when Hamilton had nowhere to turn, nowhere to stay, no clear path back to baseball or, especially, to the storybook world he once knew, Silver took him in. He let Hamilton sleep on a mattress on the floor, let him mop floors, clean toilets, rake mounds, do whatever it took to rebuild his life and get back onto a baseball field.
It was the beginning of a magical story, but can there still be a happily-ever-after ending? Silver can't help but wonder just as he wondered three years ago, when he and Hamilton were having a series of heart-to-heart talks after another public relapse.
"I said [back then], 'If these are things you struggle with and are not able to handle, then maybe baseball is not the profession you should be in,'" Silver said, bluntly, Thursday afternoon. "But I've said that from day one with Josh. When he walked into my facility in 2006, our goal was not to get him back on the baseball field. It was to get him home with his wife and his family."
But there were no questions back then about the Josh Hamilton who pounded mythical home runs into neighbors' yards and tore up his arms diving for meaningless fly balls off a fungo bat. Even after three years out of the game, because of injuries and a substance-abuse suspension, he remained a once-in-a-generation talent. And the passion he poured back into baseball was undeniable in those days.
"He was inspired," Silver said. "But he was driven to get back on the field because he was getting out of the gutter."
They've been friends ever since, speaking or at least texting four or five times a year. Hamilton even helped Silver connect with the Texas Rangers, who hired him several years ago as a roving, part-time player-development consultant.
So he was in the Rangers' spring training camp three years ago when Hamilton opened up to him about what he publicly described as a "moment of weakness" that led to a one-night alcohol relapse at two bar/restaurants in the Dallas area.
Silver said that when he and Hamilton spoke following that incident, he expressed his admiration for what Hamilton had done in baseball -- the All-Star Games, the two World Series, the MVP award, even the money he'd made. But money, Silver said, "is a motivation. It's not an inspiration. And those two words -- inspiration and motivation -- are very different."
He has been searching for signs of inspiration in his friend ever since. But Silver said, frankly, on Thursday: "I don't know that Josh has been playing inspired baseball these last two years."
When he told Hamilton three years ago that baseball might not be the right profession for him, the superstar on the other end of that message wasn't ready to accept it.
"He wasn't ready to leave the game," Silver said. "I said, 'That's your choice. It's just something I've been thinking about and being honest about.' But it's hard to walk away from a good payday."
He said Hamilton "has done so many good things. He's had people clapping for him. He's done charity work. He's done some really good things for people. But after a while, if you're not inspired, it goes away."
Silver and Hamilton have swapped a couple of "how are you"-type texts in the past couple of days, but "I'm giving him space," Silver said. "We'll talk in the future. That's basically it. Whenever he's ready."
So, back at the Winning Inning Baseball Academy, life goes on, much the way it did in Josh Hamilton's day. Former big leaguer Donnie Scott prepped the field Thursday for a college baseball tournament. Several minor leaguers played long toss and hit in the batting cages as they got themselves ready to leave for spring training. Stories were told and retold about baseballs Hamilton once launched over light towers and osprey nests.
Chicago Cubs prospect Jacob Rogers was in high school when he first began working out with Hamilton in 2006 but knew him then just has "Josh," a likable guy and one-time prospect who never made it. Only when a local TV crew showed up one day did he figure out who "Josh" really was.
"I root for him," Rogers said Thursday, a couple hours after watching a "SportsCenter" report on Hamilton's latest troubles. "I've even got his book at my house right now. I still watch him. Any time he's on TV and he's up, I'll watch him. I root for him to always get a hit or do well in a season. I was hoping this would be a big year for him. I still am."
But the driving force behind Winning Inning, Roy Silver, was rooting harder for Josh Hamilton in life than in baseball. He hopes Hamilton can turn to his faith and "use it to be part of you. To me, that's bigger than Josh, bigger than me, bigger than the game."